Rosh Post

Due to some complications from my surgery I spent a week at the Sibley Hospital Spa and Resort. You're probably imagining this was an unpleasant experience. You're right.

On our way home from the hospital Jason and I stopped at Whole Foods to pick up some traditional Rosh Hashannah food for dinner.  After everything that had happened during the last few days, suddenly the token raisin challah I bought as an afterthought at Trader Joe’s last week didn’t seem sufficient.

Both exhausted, we cleared off the dining room table, picked up the kitchen and began pulling together our dinner. For J, some brisket, matzoh ball soup and a salad. For me, fake chicken nuggets with honey and a latke with sour cream.  And, of course, the round raisin challah.  The one from Trader Joe’s had actually turned to stone, so we dove into the fresh one we picked up today. It's funny how a bite of food can be so familiar and comforting.  The cats were sentenced to an hour in the basement. Their crime? Loving brisket.

This is approximately my 35^th High Holiday Season. Some years I have been surrounded by my extended family, cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Other years I spent alone, too busy or disenchanted to observe the holidays.  Some years I invited my mostly non-Jewish friends to my home and served a Rosh Hashannah brisket or a Break Fast and explained the traditions to a mildly interested audience who were mostly concerned with the wine related aspects.  Yet tonight, sitting with J in our dining room eating reheated store bought Jewish soul food, was one of the greatest holiday nights in my memory.

I think it’s because I was able to appreciate this night for all of the future nights to come. Like a Kleenex commercial or a video for some hipster band (do music videos still exist?), I actually saw the rest of our life together flash before me in a montage.  I saw long tables crowded with plates, children, grandchildren, friends and neighbors gathered around celebrating together year after year.  I could hear my family shouting over each other to be heard as we have for generations and forks clanging against plates.

I saw a grey haired version of myself looking down this long table at a handsome older version of J, smiling at the family we had created. And that’s why he’s not allowed to burp at the table, even when it’s just the two of us.

But in all seriousness… I would like to thank all of you, our friends and family, neighbors and community who have supported our family during these difficult times.  Old friends and new have stood by us and even helped us to stand. If Lifetime made a movie about a woman and her two daughters all facing breast cancer at the same time, nobody would believe it was a real story.  But that’s our story right now.  And while I am often angry at what we are facing, tonight I am grateful. 

I am grateful for all of you. I am grateful that my sister has finished her chemo and is recovering from her surgery.  I am grateful that my mother has beaten cancer for the third time and faces just a few more procedures before she is finished with this difficult journey.  I am grateful that I am home in my own bed, infection free, preparing to meet with our fertility doctor in the morning so someday we can make that noisy family a reality.  And I am grateful that I can now shower without any special equipment, assistance or saran wrap.

I know I glossed over my hospital stay, and maybe I'll come back to that some day. For tonight I just wanted to say thank you.

May you all, Jew and gentile, have a sweet New Year.  And may we all look back on these as the tough times and be proud that we got through them.